Skip to main content

COVID-19 Special: 'Godzilla vs. Kong' (PG)



Director: Adam Wingard

Cast: Alexander Skarsgård, Millie Bobby Brown, Rebecca Hall, Brian Tyree Henry

Where can I watch?: Godzilla vs. Kong is streaming on Apple TV. 

Rating: 2/5

Review: Do you like your apes oversized and your lizards fire-breathing (I know it's not fire, die hard fans!)? Have you always wanted to see big things punch each other repeatedly thanks to the latest in CGI technology? Are you looking for a film that will make you think, 'this is dross' but renders you unable to look away? My friend, Godzilla vs. Kong is the movie for you. There's no point in trying to explain the plot, because there isn't one to describe beyond ape hits lizard, lizard hits ape, people scream and run. However, for all the repetitiveness of these giant creatures hitting each other and roaring, it's far better than enduring the shocking dialogue between the wholly one-dimensional human characters who appear to be there for no reason other than to stand around with their mouths open and get emotional at varying points. Honestly, I know viewers aren't watching Godzilla vs. Kong for Sorkin-esque interactions, but the disjointed drivel that constitutes 'conversation' in this film is simply dire. And there's not just one group of useless human characters either - in an irritating side plot, three dislikeable wasters (Millie Bobby Brown, Brian Tyree Henry and Julian Dennison) decide to discover why Godzilla's been acting so angsty recently. (Hint: that dodgy French man at the beginning has something to do with it!). Also, I realise that this film requires a significant amount of suspension of disbelief, but the centre of the Earth being hollow? Really? And if it's so far into the centre of the Earth, how is sunlight getting down there? How are all those big green plants photosynthesizing? Rest assured, all your questions will remain unanswered. 

A COVID-19 Must-Watch?: It's rubbish, but it's hard for me to say that you shouldn't watch Godzilla vs. Kong because it's just two hours of mindless, big flashy-bashy noise that doesn't require any thought and is completely removed from any kind of reality. With things in the world being a bit rubbish, who doesn't need that kind of escape right now? 

Comments

  1. Anonymouse20 May 2021 at 08:38

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

'Mary Queen of Scots' (15)

**** Arriving on the shores of Scotland, Mary Stuart moves to reclaim her title and her position as Queen. A Catholic and with a claim to the throne of England, she immediately poses a threat to Queen Elizabeth, a Protestant and the last of the House of Tudor.  The relationship between Mary Stuart and Elizabeth Tudor is one that has fascinated historians and artists alike for centuries. In a history that's dominated by male sovereigns, Mary and Elizabeth ruled alongside each other until Elizabeth had her cousin executed - surely that means that the two hated each other? In his play which premiered in 1800, Friedrich Schiller portrays Mary's last days, and the fraught relationship between the two women - one that is far from the 'black and white' dynamic that you might expect. Since then, numerous historians have revisited this momentous moment and dissected the connection between the two. One such biography is John Guy's Queen of Scots: The True Life ...
1 comment
Read more

COVID-19 Special: 'The White Tiger' (15)

Director:  Ramin Bahrani Cast:  Adarsh Gourav, Rajkummar Rao, Priyanka Chopra Jones Where can I watch?:   The White Tiger is streaming on Netflix .  Rating:  4/5 Review: Aravind Adiga's novel The White Tiger rocketed into the international bestseller lists when it was published in 2008. A darkly satirical study of Indian's caste system, the Man Booker Prize winner tackled everything from class to corruption, religion to rooster coops. It's perhaps strange, considering the novel's success, that it took so long for The White Tiger to be adapted into a film, but as director Ramin Bahrain shows, it was probably worth the wait. Taking on the central role of servant Balram is Adarsh Gourav: a mercurial screen presence, Gourav guides us through Balram's development from wide-eyed, eager driver to disillusioned servant and beyond with a deft, dependable hand. Balram's evolution from start to finish is entirely believable and, more importantly, wholly watchable - it'...
1 comment
Read more

'Eternals' (12A)

Director: Chloé Zhao   Cast:  Gemma Chan, Richard Madden, Kumail Nanjiani, Angelina Jolie Where can I watch?:   Eternals  is in cinemas and available to stream on Disney+ Rating:  2.5/5 Review: When watching a Marvel film, you must suspend some level of disbelief to fully enjoy it. However, Eternals really does push the boat too far. I'm all for a bit of fantasy and a splash of sci-fi, but I found myself drawing the line at big red robot things floating around in space - and I'm not even going to try to explain (or remember!) everything else that was revealed during this strangely boring, yet rather beautiful, superhero experience. Chloé Zhao, fresh from her Best Director win, helms the 26th film (yes, really) in the Marvel franchise, but she fails to make any sort of impact. At times, it feels as though we're veering towards something of a character study, but unfortunately all the characters are painfully shallow and one-dimensional, making the 'intimate' tal...
Post a Comment
Read more